The key to soothing a crying baby is to figure out what is causing the tears in the first place. We decipher the most common culprits with the assistance of experts.There are not many absolutes about babies.
After all, no two babies are alike, so what works for one may not work for the other. But all babies have one thing in common: a tendency to cry.
The intensity of those little wails will vary from child to child, but most new parents can expect to deal with one to three hours of baby crying per day. Why? Because it is the baby’s first—and only—way of expressing their needs and desires. There may not be a Google Translate option to help us understand what a crying baby is trying to say, but there are some common reasons why babies cry.
1. Hunger
They call it “hangry” for a reason. Everyone gets a little cranky when they’re hungry, especially babies: They can go from zero to screaming pretty quickly if they haven’t eaten for a while. You might recognize the “feed me” cry as rhythmic and repetitive and (usually) short and low-pitched. Baby’s hunger cries may also include a “neh” sound, experts say, which stems from baby’s tongue reflexively hitting the roof of the mouth in baby’s search for milk.
The key with feedings isn’t to watch the clock—it’s to respond to baby’s cues. “Crying is a late sign of hunger,” says Paul Horowitz, MD, a pediatrician with Discovery Pediatrics in Valencia, California. To prevent baby crying from hunger, look for early signs they’re ready for a nosh: lip-smacking, sucking on their hands or rooting (aka turning their head to find the breast or bottle).
2. Sleepiness
As an exhausted parent, you may be able to fall asleep the minute you hit the mattress, but the same isn’t necessarily true for baby. Sleep is a learned skill, just like anything else. “Newborns don’t have an established circadian rhythm until around 4 months,” says Kim West, LCSW-C, a baby sleep consultant better known as The Sleep Lady. “On top of that, a crying baby is largely incapable of self-soothing, so parents have to help the baby establish these things.”
To help reduce baby crying at night and soothe them to sleep, a little trial and error is likely in order to see what calms your tired baby best. Swaddling, for starters, may make your little one feel cozy and comfy. Some babies also respond well to rocking motion, the sound of a lullaby or even a hum of the vacuum.
If a baby is crying at night and waking frequently, it can be tempting to cut down on daytime sleep, thinking fewer afternoon naps will help the baby sleep better at night—but it won’t. When a baby is overtired, their body will produce hormones that give them a second wind, making it harder to fall and stay asleep. Even if it’s not the baby’s usual naptime, if they seem tired, go ahead and put the baby down. “Sleepy babies should be allowed to sleep,” Horowitz says.
3. Dirty diaper
Some babies can sit in a wet or dirty diaper for hours without a care in the world. Others go nuts if they’re uncomfortable for more than a second. (Can you really blame them?) Take a second to open up the diaper and do a quick check or perform a “sniff test.” You can also opt for a diaper brand that comes with a wetness indicator, like Pampers Swaddlers, which change color when the diaper is wet.
That way, you don’t have to undress your child every time you need to investigate whether that baby crying is due to diaper discomfort.
4. Need to burp
If you notice a baby crying right after feeding, that’s a classic sign they need to be burped. But there are other times a good burping may be in order. “Everyone remembers to burp the baby after feeding, but many babies may need to be burped after sucking a pacifier, having hiccups or crying,” Horowitz says.
“All these activities can result in swallowing air.” So, when you have an inexplicably crying baby, it doesn’t hurt to give them a pat on the back. There are several techniques for how to burp a baby out there, so find one that works for you. “I hold my baby over my left shoulder, making sure his left arm is hanging over my shoulder,” Bumpie KatieDahlia says. “Then I rub in circles on his left side and back, starting down by his hip and working up. Usually after two or three tries, we get a massive burp out of him.”
5. Tummy troubles
Is your crying baby also wriggling, arching their back or pumping their legs? These are telltale signs of baby gas, says Preeti Parikh, MD, a pediatrician at Pediatrics of New York in New York City. The good news is there’s an easy way to help them pass it. “Hold the baby on the left side to help with digestion,” Parikh says. “If the baby is gassy, bicycle their legs and push them up to the chest to help relieve the gas.”
6. Teething
Babies can start teething as early as 4 months old, and when the pain sets in, an uptick in baby crying is pretty much guaranteed. Other signs of teething are excessive drooling and gnawing on anything within reach. “Sucking either on a pacifier or on your thumb or finger can help soothe a baby,” Parikh says. You may even want to give your crying baby a gum massage, Horowitz suggests: Just massage the gums until your finger makes a squeaky sound. Chewing on frozen or refrigerated teethers, washcloths or even cotton bibs can also give babies some relief.
While it may be tempting, steer clear of over-the-counter teething aids like Anbesol or Orajel. These benzocaine-based products are no longer approved for use by the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP), since they can numb the back of the throat and interfere with the baby’s ability to swallow. In addition, the US Food and Drug Administration warns parents about the dangers of homeopathic remedies, such as teething tablets. Also avoid amber teething necklaces, which have shown to pose a danger to babies.
When it comes to soothing a crying baby’s teething pains, natural relief is best, unless the baby is truly miserable. In that case, Tylenol and Motrin in weight-appropriate doses are the only recommended medications for teething in babies these days, says Eugenie Charles, MD, a pediatrician in the pediatric emergency room at Inova Loudoun Hospital in Leesburg, Virginia.
7. Overstimulation
We all get sensory overload now and again. For a baby, it might be after getting passed around by aunts and uncles at a family party, or toted along to the grocery store. Remember: Your little one is still getting used to all that commotion, so it might not take much to get them upset. It’s a good idea to take a crying baby home and relax when they seem overstimulated. Going for a walk and getting some fresh air in a quiet, familiar setting can also do them some good, Parikh says. But don’t go too crazy trying to keep the baby away from sensory activities. “Stimulation is a good thing,” Horowitz explains. “The best form of it for babies is one-on-one stimulation with a loved one.”
8. Need for attention
We all know babies don’t exactly operate on the “set it and forget it” mentality. You can (and should!) have a baby spend some quiet alert time on a playmat. But your child will be happiest and most quiet when they’re with you. “Babies often cry out of loneliness because they’re not being held or rocked constantly.
They need these things as they go through this period of rapid development,” Narvaez says. “Young babies should be attended to empathically and quickly so their systems learn to be calm instead of agitated or aggravated.”
9. Illness
No one likes being sick and miserable, babies included. If your little one is feeling ill, you’ll likely notice the baby crying more often than usual. “Most parents know what a baby’s usual cry sounds like, so if the baby won’t stop crying or is crying harder and longer than usual, it could be a sign of illness,” Charles says.
“Also look for other symptoms, like fever, vomiting, lack of weight gain, if the baby’s not alert or if the baby is inconsolable,” and bring it to your pediatrician’s attention.
10. General discomfort
When we have an eyelash stuck in our eye, a hair wrapped around our toe or a clothing tag that’s rubbing against our skin, we can simply remove it. But a preverbal baby has only one way to let you know they’re uncomfortable, and that’s—you guessed it—crying.
If your child is still unhappy after napping and being fed, burped and changed, “strip baby down and inspect for itchy tags or other small things that could be wrong,” says West. Even a too-tight shoe can cause a meltdown, so use your best sleuthing skills here.